Duerre competes in Miss Iowa Pageant

CRESCO - Though she possesses long, flowing brown hair and a winning smile, Payge Duerre never aspired to take part in a beauty pageant.

So, it came as a shock to both herself and to those who knew her when she applied to compete in the Miss Iowa pageant.

“It surprised everyone because I’m definitely not a pageant girl. I don’t do my hair and makeup on a daily basis,” she said.

Duerre was motivated to apply for a deeper reason: She has been living with a chronic invisible illness, Ulcerative Colitis (UC) for most of her life. 

“I was scrolling through Facebook and an advertisement popped up about looking for a Miss Iowa, and they were taking applications. I was lying there in my bed and started thinking about how no one ever in the United States has run for a pageant with an ostomy bag before, so I jokingly put it on my Instagram account with a caption that said. ‘Should I run?’ I applied and went with it. I stick to my normal routine and kind of just try and advocate my way. But this was a great way to get our cause out,” she said.

As it happened, the pageant took place in Newton, Iowa Oct. 5 and 6 and National Ostomy Awareness Day is Oct. 5. Duerre recently endured two major surgeries. She wrote about her experiences candidly on her social media accounts. 

“I am really comfortable with the public knowing anything about my surgeries. Yes, it might be TMI (too much information) or somewhat gruesome/inappropriate but that’s how we make certain things are known and understood,” Duerre said. 

 

The long journey with chronic illness

Duerre’s mother, Tara Henry, recalls the challenges of her daughter’s illness, first diagnosed at a young age.

“Payge started having symptoms of Ulcerative Colitis when she was three. It took over two years and a plethora of tests to get an official diagnosis. Over the past 18 years, she has had hundreds of doctor visits, hospitalizations, infusions, scopes, medications, homeopathic treatments, ozone therapy and many others. I remember being very humbled at her first hospitalization in 2006 at Seattle Children’s Hospital. The doctors thought her colon had ruptured, and she was extremely sick; she could not eat or drink, or even move.” 

“I was humbled as we walked around the hospital and saw many children who would never go home . . . I remember feeling blessed that treatments would help her and she would come home with us.”

Henry remembers feeling at a loss as to what to do as she observed her daughter dealing with illness. 

“As a mom, watching my daughter face such obstacles at such a young age, I simply felt helpless. I just wanted to give her my healthy colon and take the pain and disease away. She attended Camp Oasis, which is a camp for kids with Crohns and colitis a few summers. It was there she met many others facing the same challenges and was able to start sharing her story.” 

Henry said her daughter maintained a positive attitude despite her health struggles.

“While growing up, Payge remained positive, all while not feeling well. She received Remicade infusions every six weeks for eight years. When Remicade stopped working, we traveled to the West Clinic in Pocatello, Idaho for homeopathic treatments. For two weeks, she received the “red carpet” treatment concoction that made Payge feel better than she had ever felt before.”

As she approached her 20th birthday, Duerre faced major surgery.

“Her first Gastroenterologist at Seattle Children’s Hospital said that his goal for her was to keep her colon intact until she was 20. Her colon was removed two days before her 20th birthday. This was a win. After her colon was removed and had an ileostomy bag placed, Payge felt like new. This was one year ago. This was one of the most difficult times for our family. Even though it was a win, it was an extremely emotional time. Payge could have wallowed in her pain and sadness, but she chose to begin to advocate for those with invisible diseases. 

“She started connecting with others with ostomys, others with Crohns and colitis and supporting mental illness and the connection with invisible diseases. Her Instagram is @hotbagmomma, and she is positively connecting with people all over the world with her light, spirit and story.” 

Five months after surgery, Duerre started getting sick again.

“Mayo determined that her disease was now attacking other organs. Her rectum and liver were now infected. During this time, Payge decided to apply to the Miss Iowa pageant and got in. Not a pageant girl, more comfortable in sweats, tennis shoes, and no makeup, she was now up for Miss Iowa and would be the first woman with an ostomy bag to participate in the competition.”

Duerre summarized her feelings about the surgeries on her Facebook page:

‘Oct. 18, 2018, was the day I finally started being able to live life again, when I had my colon removed and an ileostomy bag placed. It was completely life-altering and not going to lie, it was a mental battle for a couple of months. I hated it and hated my decision to have it. Then, something clicked in my mind one day and I realized that this bag really just gave me a new life, and I was able to do things ‘Sick Payge’ could never even think about doing.

‘Then, life got even better: Sept. 9, 2019. I had a complete proctectomy and my ileostomy became a permanent factor in my life. Stevie the Stoma ain’t going anywhere. It’s been a long mentally and physically draining journey since day one. Healing has ups and downs, but for me, always shows me where I need to end up because of God and the people He supplies me with in life.’

 

Community support

Henry said, “The community of Cresco, the ostomy community and the Crohns and Colitis community supported her with positive messages, donations and love. In September, three weeks before the Miss Iowa pageant, Payge had a total proctectomy and was at Mayo for days. All this while, she continued to share the story of her surgery and recovery with her friends, followers and community. During the pain and struggle, she found opportunities to make other peoples’ lives matter. Her strength and authentic and real self provides support to those struggling with similar issues.”

 

The pageant experience

 

Henry said the pageant experience was something new for both herself and her daughter.

“The pageant process was foreign. The photoshoot requirements, sponsorships (thank you Bill Kyle, Central Iowa Air Service; Phil Henry, O’Henrys Stitches and Prints; and Scotty Smith, Synergy Sport Performance), and specific clothing requirements were part of the prep work. We were completely unsure about what we were walking in to.” 

She continued, “Registration was Friday night, and we walked in wearing jeans and sweatshirts and many were decked to the hills in fancy dresses and high heels. The pageant staff was helpful and supportive about Payge just recently having surgery and could still not lift more than five pounds. They assured us that she would have assistance as much as she needed to remain healthy and supported.

“Saturday morning, families were invited to attend a briefing session with the pageant contestants, and that informed all about the entire weekend’s happenings. Saturday afternoon consisted of the judges having individual interviews with the contestants. I asked Payge how the interview went and she responded, ‘I was amazing. If they don’t notice how cool I am, I don’t know.’” 

Two of Payge’s best friends, Kelsey Burnikel and Emma Mannery were in charge of Payge’s hair and makeup, and even a last-minute wardrobe mishap. They turned her into a pageant queen from a sweatsuit queen in two hours prior to the preliminary pageant on Saturday night. This is where contestants come and introduce themselves and compete in the swimsuit and evening gown competition.

Henry was concerned that her daughter might have second thoughts about continuing.

“I was so anxious about her. I was worried she would change her mind and not walk out on stage, but when she came out, her light, glow and spirit shined brightly. She could have easily hidden her ileostomy bag behind a one-piece swimsuit, but what others might want to hide, she wore loud and proud in a bikini and matching bag cover (thanks to Linda Burnikel for making the matching bag cover). She sported that bag with the utmost confidence and conviction. I was beaming with pride as my confident, inspiring, torch-bearing daughter walked that stage.

“Sunday afternoon was the pageant finals. Payge was not moved into the contestant finals but was given an award even more special. Payge was given the Spirit Award and was brought out on stage as her story was told to the audience. She was given a standing ovation, started by the judges, and many tears were flowing. This moment, along with the entire weekend, helped Payge achieve her goal of telling her story of invisible illness, walking that stage with her ileostomy bag to show the world, and overcoming this journey.”

For her part, Duerre said she was surprised to receive the Spirit Award.

“I had absolutely no idea I would win that award, so it kind of took me by complete surprise. I definitely loved receiving it, though. It made me think that my goal was achieved. I had gone to this pageant to bring awareness and to possibly spark interest in learning about invisible illnesses and chronic disease.”

She credits her mother for being with her every step of the way. Duerre wrote a tribute on her Facebook page:

‘To my mom, thank you. You’re my rock, my twin, my mind reader. You know exactly what I’m doing before I do it. You say you’re proud of me and I inspire you, but how do you think I got this way? Because you raised me, you crazy lady! I am the way I am because of you. My persistence, my internal light, my zest for life, my attitude, and my looks ALL YOU. I always wonder if Grandma would be proud of me, but I know with my entire heart she sends you kisses from Heaven filled with the same things you tell me. I’m a difference-maker because you are.’

 

Words of Advice and future plans

While Duerre doubts she will take part in a pageant in the future, she is grateful to spotlight chronic illness and especially UC.

“The pageant experience was definitely an event that I’ll treasure and think back to, but it would probably be something I wouldn’t do again. We had a lot to do to participate: such as looking the part in eight dresses and shoes, jewelry, hair and nails. Then we had paperwork and such to fill out. It was kind of a hasty process.”

She acknowledges trying something beyond her comfort zone has helped her reach her goal of raising awareness by being a living embodiment of someone who achieves her goals despite a struggle invisible to most. 

“I definitely think that by me doing this, it has raised some awareness and has possibly shown people that you can do anything you set your mind to,” Duerre said. “There is no way to live a cookie-cutter life. There is your life and your life only and you can spend it trying to conform to peoples’ ‘norms’ or you can spend it making yourself happy and trying to bring love and kindness out.”

For those living with an invisible illness, Duerre offers these hard-won words of wisdom:

“Some advice I’d give is to just remember that even when life is hard, you’re still living. You’re one day closer to not feeling crummy. You’re one day closer to helping another person who might go what you go through. This pain and suffering and disease isn’t all for nothing. It has a reason and you’re the warrior that gets to deliver it.”

Now that she has helped spread awareness of UC through participating in the Miss Iowa Pageant, Duerre is going to continue to share her story with others.

“My future plans are definitely in the works as we speak, but I plan on continually advocating for every person with a chronic or invisible illness,” she said. 

“This is a daily struggle for one out of two people and the fact that this isn’t shared more causes more problems. Even if I can’t bring cures and make people physically feel better, I can bring awareness and advice and love and sometimes that helps just as much.”